Snap Hypothesis (For coldsong)

[malcolmeffect]

The office of Dr, Ian Malcolm was dark. Both from the décor, deep walnut colored wood and black leather furniture, and the fact half the lights were off. Books lined one wall on a wide variety of topics. Some showed their wear more than others. A table sat in the corner stacked with student applications for the Fall internships in his department. He ignored them. Nothing in the office dominated over anything else. The balance between all items was something you could expect from a mathematician though Ian hadn't planned on any of that when he had decorated the space. Behind the desk, his degrees and various recognition all hung in frames on either side of the decently sized second floor window. Most people looked at the office and saw an extension of Ian into the space. It had the qualities of his aesthetic and personality; bold, dark, arrogant, and just eccentric enough to raise eyebrows. Among the books on the shelf were large pieces of amber with biological inclusions, bones, a piece of a meteor, a couple engraved turquoise pieces, a raptor fossil claw, a tasseled gymnastics baton, and other in-congruent items that, while they didn't seem at first to match, spanned the experiences of Dr. Malcolm in visual form.

Ian wasn't overly fond of having both of the women in his office at the same time but he also wouldn't pass up an excuse to make it happen. Despite Ellie's recent engagement to Dr. Grant and Sarah staying with him, there was still tension between the two that was tangible. Malcolm couldn't decide if it was better or worse without Grant in the room too. He had asked Ellie to dinner several times among giggles and dangerous looks from Alan Grant. She was a beautiful woman though, some days, Ian asked her just to raise Grant's hackles. He and Sarah, who knew what that was aside from a hot and cold running madness that even he, master of patterns, could not make heads or tails of most days. Over the past year Sarah had been everything everything from a lover to someone who seemed to never want to hear from him again. Still, he had to keep his word and this was the best way to get Loki the answers he needed.

They had been at this for most of the afternoon, and the day before too. Calculating, graphing, recalculating, discussing points and variables. Malcolm had called in favors and obtained the research and schematics for N-SATAS weather modification technology and the hydrolysis mechanisms he had consulted on years ago. The project had fallen into disfavor when genetics took the forefront but Ian saw potential in the application if the variables could be managed. The project had never gotten far enough to look at variability. If Loki had the right scientists, this would move their work ahead exponentially. Ian had even pulled his graduate interns in before they left for the day. The three remaining had their specialties and they were all the best in their fields. For most academics, this space would be intimidating if only due to the clout the three could pull among intellectuals. All three had a reputation for being forceful, shrewd, brilliant, and unabashed about expressing their expertise. Never mind the rumors that followed the trio whenever they were in the same city, let alone in his office behind closed doors.

Ellie knew plant life and the requirements for primary production. Sarah had spent years in the wilds with animals and the dynamics between animals and their environment. Ian knew the math and how to progress their commentary into future events, into infinity or breaking point if needed. Ian also knew the evolutionary theories that would come into play as they projected the future after half all life disappeared. He could theorize on what would be best to fill the gaps of any species that failed to thrive.

At this point, the large chalkboard, that spanned the wall of his office opposite the book shelves, was covered in complex equations and post-it notes. He had his laptop on the desk connected to a projector that shined on the wall beside the board. It was there to keep them all on the same page through dynamic graphic representation. It was more for the women than Ian. He could look at the equations and see how they would appear in adaptive matrices. Ellie and Sarah needed to see it in a concrete form. This was one of the biggest differences in how field and theoretical researchers worked.

It had gotten to the point in the debate that all three sat down for drinks and a much needed mental break. Ian was at his desk furiously typing into a systems dynamic application to get more data on how the, over 20, equations they had come to agreement on would plot over time. These equations would then need extrapolated for every species on Earth, at least the plants and animals. Once the equations were in he could import the suitability data for any species that had been analyzed. It wouldn't be all of them but it would be a significant number, maybe three quarters or more.

Sarah was sitting on his desk looking down at the screen, watching Ian work. Ellie had sat in the plush chair on the other side of the desk staring at the equation filled board. The two women were talking to each other about their field work; Ellie in the Badlands and Sarah in Kenya. The debate had turned to how predators influenced plant life in an ecosystem.

Ian left a message for Loki to let him know that they had developed a reasonable start to tackling his problem with environmental collapse. All they needed now was for Loki to make an appearance or call so they could consult on some plans that would deter the ecological collapse Ian had predicted just over two weeks earlier. As far as the two women knew the man arriving was trying to uncover information on the prevention and intervention in ecosystem collapse due to human activity. He'd left out the part about exactly how it came about. Ian had described him, not as a scientist, but as an interested non-scientific party. Of course, Sarah of all people, had met Loki by accident. Still, it would keep the questions at bay, perhaps. It wasn't far from the truth and close enough to their own work to interest them both in leaving their own research for a few days to help Malcolm.

Ellie finished her glass of wine and stood up. “I should go. I have a flight to catch.” Ellie had looked at the clock for the third time though Ian hadn't noticed the first two.

“Of course.” Ian stood up and walked over Ellie. He hugged her and she returned the gesture though it made her blush. Especially, when Ian kissed her cheek and pulled her tighter. Ian let her go when she let go of him. He loved Ellie but not romantically though it wasn't quite as cool as a friendship either

“Here. Take this to Grant. Tell him, I said thank you.”

Sarah was watching with obvious displeasure concerning the affection between the two. Her body had tensed over the situation.

Ellie took the envelope and opened it. Her eyes widened at the check inside. “I.. I can't take this.”

Ian shook his head at her reluctance. “Let me fund your dig for awhile.. or buy that equipment Grant has been after funding for.”

Ellie smiles shyly. She loved Alan, but Ian was different. She never knew if it was his flamboyance or his love of family. Something about him always gave her butterflies in her stomach. It had ever since she first met him in the helicopter, and it never stopped.

He was insistent and she relented by tucking the envelope into her shoulder bag. “I have to call a cab or I am going to miss my flight.”

“No, no, no.” Ian pushed the loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Grant will come out of the desert to find me if I.. uh send to to the airport in a taxi.”

Ian moved away from Ellie and turned to face Sarah who still seemed hostile. The expression had become expected. Every emotion he could imagine Sarah seemed to have at one time or another. Ian fished his keys out of his pocket. “Would you?”

Sarah frowned at the request looking between Ian and Ellie. Eille too glanced at Ian.

“Please?” Ian changed tactics. He had the puppy dog eyes paired with a flirtatious grin. It visibly cracked Sarah and she smiled despite herself. Sarah hated Ian sometimes for the way he got under her skin. Harding imagined herself a strong, independent woman, but Ian waltzed past every wall she had ever constructed. He was magnetic and she hated that about him. He made it hard for her to say no.

“You'll owe me for this.” She was stern when she hopped off the desk and headed for Ian to get the keys.

“Brunch, tomorrow? Anywhere you want.” Ian bargained and offered her the keys.

“Your place.” Sarah took the keys. “You're cooking.”

Sarah kissed his cheek and Ian smiled more than he had in some time. Despite Ian flirting with Ellie it was easy to see that Sarah, he genuinely cared for her, maybe even loved her. It was hard to say, even Ian didn't know sometimes how he felt about her.

Once they were gone Malcolm relaxed and went back to his desk to finish up the last of the equation entries.

Comments

[coldsong]

Loki has, figuratively speaking, died a thousand deaths while waiting for this information. He's experienced torture both physically and psychologically, at the hands of other individuals, but really the most sadistic torments come at his own hands. His world. Thor's world. And how many parallel universes might Thanos have wreaked his destruction in?

Infinite, is the answer. Not all universes, but infinite ones. And if he can somehow patch up the damage in two, that's less than an atom in a cosmos of destruction. Loki fully expects all Universes to return to Ginnungagap in time. That's natural, light to darkness, and someday light again. What's not natural is the abrupt shove in the direction of entropy that Thanos gave creation, thinking he knew how to improve upon it.

Loki hates feeling helpless in the face of an Abyss. He's not thrilled about relying on human ingenuity, either--but admittedly, if he were going to choose the least objectionable species to come up with a way to save creation, he'd probably settle on either humans or dolphins, and he's not sure the latter are up to the task.

When he arrives in Ian's office, he has the courtesy to PINpoint to just outside the door and knock, rather than popping right in. To an ignorant observer, he might look like he's trying to out-Malcolm Malcolm, given the sleek all-black suit he's in. The only spot of color is a tiny enamel lapel pin in the colors of the genderfluid pride flag.

He looks wrung out, eyes shadowed, but he gives the man a small, tense smile. "If this project proves successful, perhaps you can venture some mathematical theories as to why, despite the existence of linear time, every goddamn thing seems to happen at once? Here, I've brought you something."

He offers little green foil gift bag tied with a black ribbon. Inside is a jar of Alfheim honey--the best in the multiverse, Loki will swear to it--and a few assorted little toys, hand-colored pictures, and painted rocks sent by the Asgardian children and probably intended more for Kelly, Lex, and Tim, than Ian himself.

[malcolmeffect]

Ian had come to the door when Loki knocked, noting how haggard he looked upon entering. If anyone understood the kind of stress a disastrous, unavoidable, and barely recoverable situation could cause, it was Ian. He could easily imagine he had looked this way when dealing with Ludlow and his incredible list of bad ideas.

Ian sighs at Loki's question. "I know.. uh.. why everything happens at once."

He tried to smile but this was a serious topic. The toys did make him smile though. Kelly, Lex, and Tim had barely stopped talking about the children they met with Loki. "The kids haven't stopped talking about your children."

He does stop and look at the jar of honey, at least he assumes it is honey. "Thank you."

Ian was exhausted too from working on this project plus juggling the kids, other projects, the school semester start, and the hurricane that was Sarah. He pulls off his glasses to rub his eyes. "I think we have a good start for managing your problems."

[coldsong]

Loki's request just then was rhetorical, and so he smiles at the response. It's commiseration of a sort; he'll take it, gladly.

There's a little chuckle when he mentions the children. "It's good for them. They've known no human children before now, but children are children. Mine are physically stronger, they'll age more slowly, but psychologically they're more or less the same. I'd be happy to bring the lot of them together for a play date again some time."

"Incidentally, Kelly is very much your daughter. I can tell." It sounds like he means it as a compliment.

"That's honey from Alfheim. Use it sparingly, a few spoonfuls at a time. It's been known to encourage daydreams and mild euphoria in mortal people who consume it in large quantities. Oh, and children under a year old shouldn't have it, but the same is true of Midgard honey."

He looks for a place to sit. "Please, go on. I assume the sooner I get to work, the better."

[malcolmeffect]

"Kelly. Lex, and Tim will be starting school soon but we can make plans ahead of time." Ian knew the three he usually had around could definitely use more people around their own age.

The comment about Kelly made him smile. "No wonder her mother doesn't like her." He was being half serious, because Maya didn't really like Kelly much.

He made mental note about the honey. "Would you like a drink? Uh, wine, scotch?"

On the far side of Ian's desk there were two comfy looking leather chairs and a small couch along the wall near the book shelves. There were already two empty wine glasses on the desk, a partially empty bottle of wine, a bottle of scotch, and what was obviously Ian's drink sitting by the computer. This kind of work needed an alcoholic wind down as far as Ian was concerned. It was too cerebral to let his mind relax on its own.

And then it was down to work. "Uh.. for some of this you might need to involve your own scientists. I can consult with them if you need it. I called in some favors to get the research I used to work on. It's incomplete, but it's a start. Weather control and a hydrolysis mechanism that we theorized could be used to raise oxygen concentrations."

Ian motioned to several folders of papers and a rolled up drawing on his desk. The research and a drawing for the hydrolysis machine that Ian had drawn when he was in grad school. The research was old but it was still workable. The other stuff was going to be more complicated. He figured one step at a time so that Loki didn't get confused. It wasn't that he thought Loki was not intelligent, he simply lacked some of the background.

[coldsong]

"It might be best to plan ahead carefully," Loki says, smile dropping away as if he's remembered something worrisome. "There is a minor issue in the Nexus at the moment. Not to alarm you or anything, but my lover's got a bit of a stalker, and he's just psychotic enough that he's attempting to frighten other people in her life. I'm a god; I'm durable, but proximity to me and mine might be a little risky until we get the situation handled."

Judging from his tone of voice, Loki hopes and expects to handle the situation with violence. "I'm keeping a close eye on my children, but I wouldn't want to invite yours to visit without at least warning you I may be watched. And if you do visit the Nexus on your own behalf any time soon, keep an eye out for trouble and don't venture into any stranger's world alone."

He doesn't want to give any warning too dire, but it would be remiss of him not to at least mention the potential danger.

"...oh, scotch sounds wonderful, thank you."

Your own scientists. Loki presses his lips together, trying to think who is left amongst the Aesir that could adapt to this kind of data. Few to none. Maybe Eir...but human scientists are also a possibility, also. He'll have to think who to approach. Stark wouldn't trust anything Loki gave him, but...Jane Foster, if she lives, or Selvig, or any number of theorists in Wakanda, could make use of these calculations.

"Weather control," he smirks a little. "My brother is the god of thunder, you know. He's capable of bringing on a storm, if that's in any way helpful in a small area."

Given the condition he's in, Loki's sure Thor won't be traveling the globe making it rain, but it's an asset that bears mentioning. Gently, he picks up the rolled-up drawing to look it over.

[malcolmeffect]

Ian assumed a god's stalker, or a god's girlfriend's stalker, might be a little worse than that of a typical mortal. He understood the situation in his own way. Sabotage, and occasionally death threats, was part of Ian's life since he worked with Hammond. Even more so now with the incidents at the park. He was terribly sympathetic toward a man he saw as a father with a girlfriend, and people acting crazy around them.

The words came out without Ian thinking. "The children could stay here if it's.. uh, safer."

He poured a drink for Loki, not sure if he should regret what he said. Ian was nonchalant and arrogant but of recent he had put his role as a father first. It effected his response more than he was comfortable with, though he shouldn't be surprised after the incident with the Rex and Hammond's grandchildren. Grant still called him stupid for distracting the rex sometimes.

Ian laughed quietly. "Weather is more than storms." He was trying to not fall into worry of his own, or Loki's. "These are for oxygen concentrations, cloud seeding, and heat alteration of air currents, uh the last has the least work done on it."

The diagram was a rather complex machine that seems to be meant for low Earth orbit including a cloud seeder and various tracking devices for the atmosphere. The margins were filled with calculations that didn't seem to related to anything, at least to a non-scientist.

"We.. Sarah, Ellie, and I, have a program written to assist with animal and plant population management. As long as your Earth is reasonably similar to this one.." Ian paused still shocked by talking about multiple Earths in a sane manner, regardless of having accepted it theoretically long ago. ".. it can inform you which species and ecosystems will need assistance and suggest alterations to move them toward stability. I've coded it to be as self running as possible, and easy to tweak if it is off from your own planet. You should be able to use the data yourself without needing to learn too much of the scientific background."

[coldsong]

Yes and no. Loki isn't certain yet how powerful or clever this one is, though he does know he's mortal. Durable, but mortal. He also knows he's pissed off the wrong group of people. Harley has a lot of friends in the Nexus, and her friends have friends. He's confident that the threat will be put down before too long, but the trick is avoiding any collateral damage while that work is in progress.

And the last thing he would want is for the children--his own or someone else's--to be collateral damage.

It's a very generous offer Ian makes, and Loki glances up to meet his eyes, clearly considering it. His little family certainly would benefit from being well away from the mess, but there is less magical protection in another world. In the Nexus, the Joker could scare or upset them, but probably not successfully hurt them.

"I will not forget that you made that offer," he says softly after a moment, and means it in the warmest way possible. "However, I think I must decline. I would rather not lead him to this world, and I do have extensive warding around my place."

He smiles. "Once the danger's over, perhaps we'll visit. Actually, Harley is a very skilled aerial dancer. I thought perhaps she and Kelly might make friends, given her interest in gymnastics. But...in the future. The near future."

It's silly, perhaps, but the idea of forming friendships with other families is a new frontier and one which Loki finds more compelling than he'd have thought he would. And one at which he might do better than most people expect, given how quickly he's absorbed not only the names of the children he met but also some of their interests.

"Ssh, don't tell me brother that," he says in response to Ian's comment about weather, breaking into a grin. He never ceases to be worried about Thor, but teasing him, even in absentia, is vitally important to their relationship.

He scans the diagram, quickly recognizes the futility of analyzing the calculations in the margin, and pauses to ask a couple questions about some of the symbols in the key. This clarification received, he seems to understand what he's looking at reasonably well.

Looking up again, he smiles and nods at the idea of the computer program. "You'll have to let me know what sort of equipment is needed to run it. Anything that doesn't match my own world's technology, I can obtain in the Nexus."

A program is good, though. A program can be shared between multiple worlds, multiple planets, and potentially altered to spec by those who have a more solid understanding of the technology than Loki.

[malcolmeffect]

Ian conceded to Loki's decision about his children. "Kids are always a hard decision when there's.. uh, violence."

Ian wasn't just thinking physical violence. He worried about Kelly with the verbal accusations and attacks too, maybe more so some days. He was glad the conversation turned to something more positive on the subject. "Kelly's obsessive about it."

He didn't want to pry but there was curiosity on Malcolm's part and something in Loki's smile and his turn of phrase. "Harley is your lover?" He would have used girlfriend normally but his respect drove him to choose Loki's own words to describe the situation.

Ian easily falls into teaching and explaining whatever Loki asks. He appreciated curiosity and a desire to understand. If someone truly wished to learn he would never be condescending or off-putting even if he thought a question or idea was stupid internally. Those things never showed through unless the person was patronizing or was false about their interest.

Ian was prepared for the idea of equipment. "I've loaded all the software and detailed instruction for formatting inputs and parameters on a computer. You can take it with you."

There was a grin as he moved around the desk to sit in his chair. "It was unfortunately lost while I was traveling."

So, Ian had filed a false lost equipment slip. It was a minor infraction and soon the computer wouldn't be anywhere easily found anyway. He sat and looked up to Loki.

"Here, I'll show you how it works." He turned the projector back on so Loki could see the computer screen on the wall. He'd walk the god through as much of the program as he wanted, though Ian did show him some of the basics, enough to get people started, and any particularly sticky points in working with it. In truth, this is where Ian's passion lay, not just working out and discovering the way math could be used to explain the world but teaching it to people, using it for something concrete. Ian had patience, usually, and an intuitive sense of where people were in understanding, how to help them get to a point where thy could grasp what he was saying. He could be an excellent, if sometimes arrogant, teacher. He preferred the theoretical math but always sought ways to apply it for some use. Here with Loki, working on a project beyond the scope of what had been done, teaching someone; this was where Malcolm was the best version of himself.

"There's an analyst lecturing here in a few weeks. He agreed to look the program over. If we update it I'll be sure to send you any changes."

[coldsong]

"I think all children are obsessive with their interests, at least at first," Loki muses. "It's good to let them, as long as they're enjoying themselves. Sooner or later adult responsibilities will creep in and spoil the fun, but until then, they get the pure joy of being able to follow where their spirit leads. Sigrid is that passionate about performance. Theater, in particular. I'm having her do poetry readings right now."

He nods at the question. "Harley Quinn. Have you met her? If you haven't yet, I assure you, you will." Wouldn't shock him; she's the very definition of an extrovert. Actually, she probably would have flirted with Ian happily, now that Loki thinks about it, and his grin grows a little.

"We're committed, but not exclusive," he explains, just in case the scenario playing out in his head has actually occurred and now Ian's wondering what that means. "She has far too much affection to give to be tied down to one person. Even a god."

He's a bit surprised by the gift of a computer, but the fact that is was obtained through trickery rather than purchased delights him. It's almost like tribute! "Lost between dimensions," he hums. Oh, he's keeping this thing. "How convenient!"

He's attentive to the software lesson, and relatively quick to grasp it. Asgardian technology is different, but this seems to operate similar to a PINpoint in some ways, so he's content.

"My intent is to offer the program to a few people in the worlds affected. I know there are handful of scientists who can make proper use of it. Any updates or advice you have will be welcome, and I'll keep track of who has the program so it can be passed along."

Leaning back in his chair, he steeples his hands. "...although, now I'm wondering if a version could be offered to other worlds in the Nexus. I know a number of post-apocalyptic worlds and desert planets have gateways that open there. Terraforming equipment isn't uncommon technology, but what you're presenting here is more like working within the environment already present within a world, rather than bringing in equipment to adapt it."

[malcolmeffect]

Ian truly loved kids. They were one of the reasons he didn't regret everything about his marriages.

"I haven't met her yet." Ian signed. "With the trial, and school for me and Kelly, plus.. uh.. all the projects I haven't been back to the Nexus." Ian nodded to his explanation of relationships. Ian, of anyone, understood that not everyone worked well in the same kind of relationship.

He worked with Loki as much as he needed and agreed. "I can consult if they need it." Ian wasn't sure how he felt about going to other universes but presumably PINpoint or the Nexus would do.

"Yes." Ian agreed. "Terraforming requires massive alterations and too many variables to manage without intense intervention and constant maintenance. Minor adjustments to a relatively functional system is easier and takes less manpower. After it reaches stability the ecosystems can be nudged toward more ideal conditions." His mind was already contemplating how to manage stability to terraforming. That was an intriguing idea.

[coldsong]

Loki has many regrets regarding his own biological children, but they all happened so long ago. It would be easy to think of his Asgardian foster children as a chance to do things right this time, but he refuses to consider them in that light, precisely because he wants to do right by them. If a better guardian for them were to arise, he would relinquish them. But at this point, knowing how unstable the world the rest of their people have settled in is, he plans to keep them at his side in the Nexus for the foreseeable future.

Which won't be easy for him or for them, but it is what it is.

"Let me know if you do plan to spend any length of time in the Nexus," he says. "Strange things happen there from time to time. I feel as though I...mm. Well, you won't want me hovering over you, I'm sure, but don't hesitate to call if you need assistance."

And that's not an offer the god makes lightly. It helps that Malcolm is so clearly a man of pride. He won't call on Loki for anything trivial; he's sure of that.

"Terraforming is also frightening technology to some cultures," Loki agrees, nodding. "Not all the worlds adjoining the Nexus are at the same level of development."

He takes a breath and lets it out in a hissing sigh. "I'll take what you've given me here, and deliver it to Thor's world and my own as it is now. Any further updates you come up with can be sent later. The sooner they begin intervention, the better."

He rubs his forehead and goes on, evidently thinking aloud. "Although getting it to my own world of origin is easier said than done, considering I'm dead there. I can't just hire a courier; they wouldn't understand what they're carrying."

[malcolmeffect]

Ian nodded. "I'm planning on returning sometime soon.. Uh, don't know when yet."

Though he doesn't know how important it might be to Loki, Ian does understand the "don't hesitate to call" line in his own terms. For someone who had a family and other commitments those words always meant more. As far as Ian figured, the more someone was managing the more weight those words had.

He manages a smile. "I'll try to make it a social, instead of a work, call if I do."

"Cultural and technology differences cause issue on the same planet. It has to be worse when it's from a different planet." Ian was settling into the multiverse idea. At first, there had been shock, but science already suggested the concept. The scientific backing gave weight and eased the transition to the Nexus existing.

"If they run into problems, or think of anything that needs added, let me know. " He was beginning to feel like he was more invested in this project than he should be, but then it was world saving. You couldn't be overly invested in events of that level. By Ian's reckoning more issues were caused by people being under invested.

"I went through everyone thinking I was dead." Ian shrugged. "I don't have much advice. There are still people that insist I am a fake and not myself."

[coldsong]

Loki blinks a little at the mention of a social call, as if he wasn't quite expecting that level of connection. Which is silly, considering they were just talking about playdates, but those were for the children. He gives Ian a weak smile and nods. "I've not had time for much but work for a while."

"But winter is coming. I should be able to take some time in the midwinter when all else is still." He says that like a man reminding himself that this, too, shall pass, someone holding on in hope of a better day.

The comment about everyone thinking he was dead makes Loki break into a too-sharp, bittersweet smile. "Well, I've had two practice deaths before this latest, real one. I don't recommend overdoing it, but overseeing one's own memorial service is very interesting."

He shakes his head. "I cannot return in physical form to my world. But I can send my magic. I may be able to send electronic messages. One way or another, I'll work it out."

[malcolmeffect]

Ian laughed quietly. "Work has been consuming my life, uh sounds like yours too. We both deserve a break from other people's chaos."

Personal causes were fine but Ian was dealing with fall out from other people mostly, it seemed like Loki was too. That was enough of a reason to find something relaxing to do and step away from the stress of all the commitments.

"I'd like to avoid almost dying again." Ian is bitter about the whole process. "Memorial plaques in the main campus building were close enough."

It is odd how much he has in common with Loki. Though, perhaps that was how chaos worked. The chaos and the man who studied it should, in fact, share some common ground. Though it was getting eerie how many things they shared, not specifics, but more generalized life experiences. Ian could easily admit that his were on a smaller scale, then again that should be the case if he were a mortal and this was a god, or a longer lived person. Ian hadn't really accepted Loki as a god yet but he had settled on accepting he was extremely long lived compared to a human.

Ian's brow furrowed. "Why don't you just invite one of them here?" He had meant a generalized here, as somewhere Loki wasn't forbidden physically. Maybe that was an easier solution than trying to do something magical, or electronic. Though email was a common communication for Ian, he also understood how wires could get crossed when it came to research in electronic format.

cw for suicidal ideation stated in a weird roundabout way

[coldsong]

"Never settle for a memorial plaque if you can get a statue, friend," Loki says, and it sounds like it's meant to be a joke, but something in his voice is a little flat.

"But no. Almost-dying, or dying and returning, is...a bit like almost sneezing, I think. Unsatisfactory. The itch never goes away, just waits unresolved until the next opportunity arises." His fingers thread together, hands clasped in his lap, and his gaze is distant for a moment, focused on them without really looking at them.

"I'm not sure who would come," he says after a moment, moving on to the next topic as if he hasn't just said something weird and slightly worrisome. "Of the people that remain that I know of, Thor is the only one I am certain would respond to me, and he--the last time I tried was...very painful."

He sounds like he's being throttled for a second, and has to take a moment to cough, clearing his throat. "But...perhaps Valkyrie. I could try. She has less reason to distrust me than most."

Re: cw for suicidal ideation stated in a weird roundabout way

[malcolmeffect]

"I know." There's a resolute acceptance to those words. Under all the arrogance and flash, Ian had a darkness that he kept buried. However, these words brought it to the surface. "I wonder how many opportunities come before one sticks."

Ian poured himself another drink before sitting heavily in his chair. If there wasn't company he might just drink from the bottle. How many times had it happened now, 3, 4, 5.. more? It said a lot that he couldn't remember how many times he died, almost died, tried to die.

Ian was lost to his own darkness and barely recognized Loki was speaking. He came around though, looking at the god sitting in his office. "Uh.. it's good there might be someone that would answer."

His voice sounded burdened. He wondered who, besides maybe his daughter, would honestly come if he needed. Assist with no strings attached. Maybe Ellie, maybe, and Muldoon perhaps, but no one else. Everyone else, eve Sarah, would expect or want something in return.

[coldsong]

"Always just one more, I think," Loki answers. "That's the problem. The closer you get, the deeper a rut you've carved for yourself, in the road that leads, metaphorically, straight off the face of a cliff."

He shakes himself a little and looks at Ian thoughtfully. It takes one to know one, perhaps. Right now it's easy enough to see, even without the dark words, that they have this problem in common. And it's so tempting, isn't it? But there is not much that Loki, at least, could do that would be worse for his children than dying suddenly. They've lost too much already. He's not great at the whole 'responsibility' thing, but he's aware of that much, at least.

"I'm a god of lies and tricks," he says with a shrug. "I've never been known as particularly trustworthy, and never will be. I can't blame them."

"My apologies. I did not intend to be depressing." He's pretty sure he doesn't have to explain why he's not in the best of moods, though.

[malcolmeffect]

"And they always tell you being unable to get out of a rut is a bad thing." Ian's sarcasm and dark humor has surfaced, if only because that was how he dealt with these thoughts. On the bright side of this depressing topic it has been several months since his last attempt, or thoughts of trying again. He figured that would change the next time a medical crisis came from his leg.

It was good that he had Kelly with him now. In just the last few weeks he had noticed an improvement. Not that he wanted, or could handle more responsibilities, but she was a necessary one for some many reasons.

There is a joke about how someone can believe a god of lies being a liar but feels it is better left for some other times. "We all have groups of people who think we're liars."

"The world is always careening toward collapse. Depression happens." Ian shrugged with a lighter mood. "Chaos theory makes the darkness manageable because it teaches you that it exists and can't be avoided."

[coldsong]

"Lies are not always a bad thing," Loki says. "They can be weapons or shields, comforting or cruel, selfish or noble. I wish I could tell you to be proud of being thought a liar, actually, but I cannot. Having that reputation makes things a bit more difficult when interacting with other people."

"But if it's any comfort, being mistrusted or ill-thought-of makes you one of mine, even if you're not actually lying."

He listens to him for a moment, then breaks into an impish grin and laughs. "It makes the darkness manageable because it teaches you darkness is inescapable? That shouldn't make sense, but I think I understand what you mean."

[malcolmeffect]

"Yes, and hell when you need to be taken seriously." Ian sighed thinking about all the nonsense around Hammond. He was still trying to get past the damage to his reputation, even if he had been proven correct since then.

"I've finally found good company among the liars." Ian was being sarcastic and complimentary, and bitter about the other liars he has run into all at the same time.

Ian shrugged, grinning a bit himself. "It's always better to be prepared and acknowledge exactly how bad things can possibly be, just in case it does get that bad."

[coldsong]

"Oh, believe me, I understand," he says with a crooked smile. "One can only hear the story of the boy who cried wolf so many times before one starts to wish the wolf would just come along and eat the storyteller."

Loki's brows quirk at that bittersweet compliment, but he seems to take it in the spirit it was intended, smile softening. "Well, given how rarely I'm considered good company, I'll take that observation and run with it."

"Now I'm not sure if you're being a pessimist or a realist. Is your glass half-empty?"

[malcolmeffect]

"They created their wolves. They're eating them all slowly but there's too much collateral damage." Ian could definitely put the dinosaurs there as the wolves consuming the story tellers. Maybe they didn't deserve to be eaten either but it was safer for everyone.

"You and me, both." Ian laughed quietly at the comment about being considered good company. Ian was considered an annoyance usually, even at the best.

"The glass is an illusion. It's like the box." Ian was speaking metaphorically. The glass, the box, all of them were just something that cramped thought.